Cherry Tomato

IS ANYONE REALLY EVEN STILL ON MY FRIENDS LIST?

You Are Duck

Exotic and unusual, you are a bit of a rare bird - literally. You're known for being soft and succulent, though at times you can be a bit greasy.

Just a note that all posts are now friends only, but YOU can be my friend :)

sigh

google image searc

I was looking around for old negatives to make my lamp shade and stumbled upon an old drawing/writing/etc... journal where I came across this:

(prob. written in spring of 2005)



written about this girl I liked:



I do not think of voices running,
through fields of rain as darkness
robs the flicker of the day.

I do not think of their
violent screams of longing,
confused inside this maze.

I think not either of the
light or the day;
of walking through streets
or nights of brief slumber.

I think only of her
glistening lips;
those waves of perfect,
untouched waters;
parting only for a moment
for the magic of her breath.

She sings a song of spingtime.
The small power of the sun
lives inside her veins.

She dreams of smiles
of children
and yet unwritten days.

I do not think of morning(mourning),
for tonight I
have a wholeness:

the comfort of her
gaze.





this one is from a dream I had:



When I was a young child
I had a dream
I saw god as a cloud.

I said "God, are you
man or woman?"

to which the
cloud replied:

"No, my child
I am a cloud."



I need to start a paper journal again, theres things that come to life that are not possible via the interweb

ok,
so the stupid bus can apparently go two different ways,so the bus I was on did not go to walgreens like it should have so I could buy orange juice and tortillia chips, so I instead walked around to four different gas stations looking for these chips, none of them of course sold them and at the 4th one I was feeling nervous after having been wandering around in so many places w/o buying anything that I grabbed a bag of microwave popcorn

it was not until I got home that I remembered we dont have a microwave


ALSO


if I hear about another group of teenage boys beating the shit out of a homeless person, I am going to kill a motherfucker


Seriously, what the fuck?

okay, how long is a cold/flu whatever thing supposed to last, I am so sick of this shit and Icant sleep!!


things to do tomorrow (if im not still terribly sick)


buy lampshade from dollar general

collect more photo negatives

MAIL AFRICA STUFF

buy organic/free range eggs and orange juice

make/start/etc. invitations for jasmines bday party

go to fabric store

finish reading "seven guitars" and start reading "the painted bird"

find out what mysterious fun the roommate was up to


make 2 more record bowls for gifts


call andrea and give her the espresso I got for her and Laura over two weeks and am tired of looking at


stop being sick


meditate


call sarah and tell her to stop being such a fucking baby and set uo a day to get her xmas presents sometime before easter


look for the written work of samuel beckett


love self



things to do tomorrow (if still feeling terribly sick)


try to sleep more


buy orange juice


bitch about being sick


drink orange juuice


make oatmeal


try to sleep

eat oatmeal

bitch


repeat

Dolly Parton turns 60 this year!

http://www.voiceofanangel.net/lps/dolly_best75.jpg


happy birthday darlin'!!!




right now:


listening to Grace Jones and making record bowls


I need to figure out a way to fuse 2 records together to make a lampshade

I am so done w/ being sick

I wanted to go out tonight b/c school will start soon and I will return to my routine of sleep/class/work/repeat

I do not have my phone w/ me and I'm terrified at how completely lost and disconnected I feel

I have seen so much information in the past few days about the book "a milion little pieces of me" all of which ridicule the author for putting in events that didnt really occur and then proclaimimg it autobiographical, to this I say:

Dear strawberry mouth,

The same was said of Rigaberta Menchu's autobiography, to which she responded

"some of these events may not have occured in my own personal life, but they happen all to often in the lives my people, I want the world to know that tortures that my people have endured"

While, of course the situations are very different I have feeling her words may still apply.


I think I may be slightly delerious at the moment

I also do not appreciate how some stupid abortion provoking boy called me up last night to chat for awhile and then wanted to know if I was doing anything/wanted to do anything and then did not call me back w/goth mommies phone# like I told him to.

Oh, and the only reason I wanted to talk to her crackhead ass was to see if she was required to go to court on the 23rd

you see, I recieved a supenia to be a witness in the trail of one of the men who robbed goth mom and I last summer

I dont really have a keen desire to ever see her again I just thought it would be better then having to go myself, im kinda nervous/scared/anxious about the whole thing and I have never been to court before and don,t know what to expect


god fucking damn it, I want to do something fun before school starts and I have an awful feeling thats not going to happen

I went to my grandmas house today and went through all the stuff I still had over there. I threw away sooo much stuff and my life pretty much boils down to about 4 boxes. I also went to school today and spent my last few pennies on books. I am taking a printmaking class but sort of want to drop b/c it seems way too complicated, only prob is if I dropped it I would be down to only 14 credits,I wish I knew of a class I could take instead.

A little over a week until school, I want to do something exciting/interesting/fun/dangerous before my entire life is absorbed in work/school again.

any ideas?

for anyone who cares of found the perfect combination of sex/romance w/o the burden of commitment



I need to either delete my LJ existence or find more people/communties


cause right now it dosnt really feel worth it

I miss living with/putting stuff on a cat



http://www.stuffonmycat.com/

in my last post I must have had a typing error and used the word "mucher"


I really need to think about proofreading my posts

today is the day that thousands of ljers across the nation bloggity blog blog about how fab their new years eve was.

I wasnt planning on doing anything, for a lack of anyone to do anything with,


blah blah blah


and I up going to chi w/ billy (semi boring pics coming soon)

which isnt as exciting as it might sound.


We didnt want to pay $40 cover for anywhere there was worth going to before midnight so we spent like an hour and half trying to find this boys house where there was supposedly a party, but ended up being two gay boys, and a lesbian cat (plus me and billy) well whatever we would stay there till midnight, have some wine and then find something better to do,


fine exept for the fact that apparently 90 to 95% of gay males between the ages of 15 and 25 are addicted to some kind of drug, usu. meth

So after me and B declined the twinks offer to go to some hotel room and "pick up" where there was also some supposed party we walked like twenty blocks around boys town (b/c for some reason B can spend $500 on a digi camera, $2,000 in xmas presents, but not $15 on a fucking cab)

so we ended up going to Closet for like 5 mins, b/c of course it was insanely boring and oddly enough the size of a closet, god I dont know why anyone even goes there.


So b was feeling hungry so we stopped so he could pizza and accidently dropped my water on some straight couple who were total bitches, b promised we'd go dancing after we ate,


so we started our way toward spin walking arm in arm, and a group of gay boys starting talking shit cause they obviously thought we were straighties


"AHHHhh, what a cute couple!"

"omg shes all like....look at her"

queers are suck fucking pieces of shit sometimes I swear to god, it reminds of the time in New Orleans when we were walking past these two gay guys, who were like "havent you ever seen a gay guy before?" and started making out, like it was going to shock us or something


So we got to Spin and it was actually pretty fun, good music, etc... but after like 3 songs b wanted to leave so we need. I stole a ballon and we released it into the sky making our wishes for the new year.


I am so sick of how ever time I go to Chicago and actually find something FUN to do we can only stay for 5-15 mins b/c the person I'm with is alcohol-phobic or "allergic to smoke" Im not saying that everyone needs to smoke and drink, but if you have that big of an aversion to it why do you go out in the first place?


I go out like maybe once every few months and most of the time it sucks, on the rare occasion I actully find some place fun to go it would be nice if the person I was with would dance w/ me, or at least not make me leave 10 mins after we get there



I guess it was worth it though b/c of how much fun we had singing along w/ divas on his ipod on the drive home

hmmm

ok, moments ago, for the first time ever in my life I went to a place called:


"myspace.com"


I realize that I am prob. one of ten people in my age range w/o sometype of workings on there, but I never thought to even take a look


it is oh so rather odd, but much hotter in the possibilities of "gay female milwaukee"

You scored as Sociology. You should be a Sociology major! </td> Sociology 92% Theater 83% Anthropology 75% Journalism 75% Psychology 67% Philosophy 67% Dance 58% Art 58% Linguistics 50% English 50% Mathematics 50% Biology 50% Engineering 42% Chemistry 25% What is your Perfect Major? created with QuizFarm.com

I guess this is fitting b/c my major is considered to be social science major,

but how does one know if subconciously I am picking answers that will result in an outcome that fits what I am studying in order to convince myself that my chosen field is not a huge mistake?

In the year 2006 I resolve to: Masturbate with the opposite hand. Get your resolution here

Which is evediece as to how
pathetic and fed up Iam
with being sex-free

Can you please get me this from netflix jessers? please?

"The 1923 silent version of Oscar Wilde’s play Salomé was produced by its star, Alla Nazimova (and she was a big star at the time), and pretty much ended her film career. It’s easy to see why. This was an art-house movie made on an epic budget. Audiences weren’t ready for something s outrageously decadent as this in 1923. In fact it’s probably fair to say that audiences still aren’t ready for it. There were rumours at the time that most of the cast were gay, and that Nazimova had specifically chosen gay actors. So, is it any good? The answer to that is – yes, it’s extremely good, if you accept it for what it is. It’s visually extraordinary – Natacha Rambova’s costumes and sets, inspired by Aubrey Beardsley’s illustrations for Wilde’s play, are beyond outrageous - there really isn’t an adjective capable of describing them. To get an idea of the visual style of the movie think of The Cabinet of Dr Caligari directed by Busby Berkeley on acid. Or perhaps The Cabinet of Dr Caligari remade by Fellini with some help from Ken Russell. Movies don’t get any campier than this. But it works. It makes not a single concession to realism or naturalism – everything is artifice. And it’s very very decadent. There’s the clash between the asceticism and religious mania of John the Baptist and the hedonist decadent world of Herod’s court, and the film is obviously not on John the Baptist’s side! Salomé’s famous dance is as peculiar as everything else in the movie. Nazimova was a 42-year-old woman playing the part of a 14-year-old girl, but she pulls it off. I can’t think of any other American movie even remotely like this one. I loved it, though. "

The more I look at myself lately, the more I think I bear a striking resemblance to Brenda from Six feet under.


edit: after looking for pics of her on the interweb I guess there isnt that much of a physical resemblance, I often however feel like her character



http://www.anyoldactress.com/pictures/rg5.jpg

http://www.dvd-center.de/filme/shots/9048_8.jpg

http://www.channel4.com/entertainment/tv/microsites/S/sixfeetunder/images/gallery10.jpg

http://www.dbmagazine.com.au/351/viz-RachelGriffiths.jpg



Also, today... besides darning my socks and calling strawberry mouth 767,987,890 trillion times, I went to Kohls Department store to spend the $25 gift card given to me by dear grammy...but omg...everything there was incredibly ugly and suprisingly expersive for being 60-80% off.


Anyhoo...heres what I purchased


purple wedge shoes:
http://www.kohls.com/main/subcategory.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=200209995&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=215017767&bmUID=1135933714090


belty thing:
ok, well I couldnt find a pic of the belt


Im tired and I need to wake up by the noon hour to have a late lunch w/yulia


im anxious and confused, i need to get back to my 9pm bedtime and then instead of waking at 1 0r 2, wake by 9...I feel out of sorts this way..or that

I resized it in word, but cant like upload from there